"the average american woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds...

...the average american model is 5'11" tall and weighs 117 pounds. most fashion models are thinner than 98% of american women" (smolak, 1996).

ladies and their weight. we look at the glowing, airbrushed, and cellulite-free photos of models in fashion magazines and think we were all created to look that way. though i know better, i am sometimes guilty of this fruitless comparison. i saw on tv how magazine editors use computers to elongate legs and even shorten the appearance of necks. fashion magazines, media, and an over-all standard for what is considered "beautiful" by american society has driven both men and women to eating disorders. this has become an increasing concern over the decades....

...but what you don't hear as much about are the abrupt, overt declarations of apparent weight gain (real or not). enter exhibit 'a': myself. yesterday, as i was strolling through the semi-crowded parking garage on my lunch break, i bid a coworker a cheerful 'hello' as i passed her on the way to the door. a few moments later, the (tactless) coworker thought it necessary to stop, turn, and yell from several yards away 'hey! jennifer! are you gaining weight??' stunned, shocked, surprised and horrified all at once, i asked her again what she had inquired, certain i had heard wrong in my post-lunch lethargy. sure enough, much to my dismay, i had heard correctly the first time. mortified, i responded with an indignant "no!" and scurried inside as fast my evidently chubby legs could carry me.

true story. like any other girl, i am very aware of any sort of weight change, no matter how slight. a few pounds in any direction can make a large impact on a small frame. my weight fluctuates frequently and this coworker just happened to catch me on a more self-conscious day. lesson of the week: if a girl looks the least bit larger, she knows. no need to point it out.

i was supposed to go to austin today but i don't know if i am anymore. matt is sick, and as much as i'd like to go anyway and take care of him, i can't afford to miss work. dilemma.

we shall see where the wind blows me.