how to lose your dignity, ms. r-style

how to lose credibility in the classroom, ms. r-style

by: ms. r

step one: on the first day of school, make sure to stress the importance of your school's honor code. create a sense of fear in the classroom by dictating the horrific consequences of violating the sacred thou-shalt-not cheat (or do anything else teen-agery inappropriate in the "eyes" of the school) decree.

step two: honor the honor code. if you do find or even suspect a student in violation, then you must investigate immediately and with a stern face radiating immense sobersidedness. for example, if you overhear a student verbally and overtly admit to cheating, no matter how breezy, blithe and fallacious the comment seems to be, you must treat it as a serious and substantial breach of high school legislature.

step three: approach the student in violation with an air of authority, and with gusto, clearly formulate in your head the following command regarding the overheard comment: "that is an honor code violation. therefore, i must report you." couple that with a look of utmost disapproval for extra effect. if you feel that this look will prompt an angry parent phone call tears, use sparingly.

step four: the most important step of all. upon delivery, mince your words completely. for some extra spice, toss in a dash of inappropriateness. instead of delivering your perfectly-constructed mental tirade, throw the student this tasty curveball: "that is an honor code. therefore, i must violate you."

step five: do not remain calm or stay your normal skin tone. as the class erupts with the inevitable laughter, muster up the darkest shade of crimson possible and do not even try to hold the chuckles inside. throw back your head and try to laugh the loudest of all! we're losing credibility each second here, people! if you do this correctly, the student will actually look pleased with him or herself.

step six: drop the issue completely, crank up the ipod, and move on with class as usual.

channeling olivia

for the love of the cavaliers.

kids write the darndest things

week three.

we're still in "new year" mode. classes are still shifting; kids are moving around. it can be frustrating too. one day my marketing class had 21 students, and the next it had jumped to 32. that's a 50% increase in one day! basically, i had to start the class all over again.

the kids are starting to look like actual people instead of just teenage clones. this is when it starts to get fun - they open up more and show their true colors (this, clearly, can be good and bad). i find myself, even this early in the year, forming bonds with these young pups. they have unique ideas and they have a lot to say if you take the extra few minutes to stop teaching them and let them teach you.

today, my day of classes concluded with a hearty chuckle. i was in my computer lab and we were wrapping things up for the day. i was sitting at my desk getting ready to head downstairs at the bell along with the kids, and i looked up to see one of my girls hovering at my desk. she sits in one of the far corners of the lab and is on the quieter side, so i had yet to really have much contact with her by this point. a petite brunette with large animated eyes, i knew it would only be a matter of time before this youngster shared a part of her personality with me.

"what's up, megan?" i asked. "miss. r, can i write something on the board?" she asked me and pointed to the white board behind me.

"uh, ok...exactly what do you want to write?"

"just want to add onto that." she said and pointed to the word "princess" that was already written on the board. i honestly don't know why the word was written up there, but i don't teach every class in there and it happened during one of the few periods that i am in my other classroom. "well, ok...." and turned to supervise. (you learn quickly that you must always closely monitor anything that adolescents write, especially on a highly visual medium.)

after "princess" she added the letters "a-b-l-e," set the marker down, and turned to me expectantly. am i supposed to understand this? princessable? i repeated it aloud and she grinned proudly. i still didn't get it. help me out, megan.

she saw my confusion. "you know, like we have here." (huh?)

with a look that screamed 'c-MON, teacher!' she elaborated on her little creation: "like a PRINCE-ABLE [principal], here we have a PRINCESS-ABLE [princess-ipal]," referencing our new female principal this year.

ahhhh, clever. i admit, sometimes these little minds have some pretty cute ideas. too funny.

speaking of funny....please watch this. it basically had me laughing all weekend. not responsible for tunes stuck in heads. and this will get stuck in your head. you can thank me later.

click this. i will figure out how to embed video later.